Paging Drew Bennett

[dial tone…]

[dialing Berkeley, CA phone number]

[phone rings]

Hello? Is Drew there?

Yes Mrs. Bennett, this is Billy Volek. I’m a quarterback for the San Diego Chargers, but I used to play with Drew back when we were in Tennessee.

Yes, Mrs. Bennett. I’m still in the league.

Well, yes, I was supposed to be the starting quarterback in Tennessee after Steve left, but then they drafted this kid out of Texas and then everything went down hill from there.

Yes, he’s faster than I am. But his arm is questionable.

Oh, you’ve seen him play?

Well anyways, I was just wondering if Drew would be interested in playing with me this week. See, we’re really screwed going into New England, and it is a playoff game. Our running back LaDainian is listed questionable with a hyperextended knee, and I think there’s a good chance that I’m even going to play.

No, no, Mrs. Bennett, I’m not the number one quarterback for San Diego. The kid who was playing ahead of me has two sprained knees. Yes, I know he told the Indianapolis fans that he would be back from his injury, but he knows not what he says sometimes.

Okay, most of the time.

Well, you see, while we were able to win last week’s game, I think that we may be in a bit of a bind this week. We’re facing this guy you may have heard of. His name is Tom Brady and he’s pretty good, so we… 

Oh, you know Tom? Your what is named “Tom?” Oh, well, that’s nice.

So, as I was saying. I think it would be nice to have Drew on my team again. You know, to rekindle the flame per se. Back in ’04, we had one hell of a season. Drew caught 80 passes for 1200 yards and 11 touchdowns that year!

Yes, I know ma’am. He has only caught 10 touchdowns since then. But that’s because I’m not his quarterback anymore. I’m the yin to Drew’s yang, Mrs. Bennett.

What do you mean “that’s weird?”

No, its just something that us football players say.

Oh, Drew’s never said anything like that?

Well, OK. If you could just pass along the message that I called, it would be great. We could really use him this week. I really miss him, and think it would be nice if… [click]

Hello? Hello? [dial tone]

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